Happily Ever After?

Happy Ever After? With this new blog we look at all the ways to turn a failing marriage into 'happy ever after'.

Tuesday 26 April 2011

How to Improve Your Marriage

Has your marriage become routine and predictable? Are you spending more time arguing than having fun?
There are so many couples that wish they could recapture past excitement. It’s never too late to rekindle your relationship and improve your marriage. Even if your marriage is currently at rock bottom, there are steps you can take to put things right.
1.    Don’t Keep Things In
No marriage can move on from a stagnant patch without discussion. The first rule of relationship-repair is to talk about the things that are driving you apart.
Try not to dwell on the issue itself but how to resolve it. What changes could each of you make that would make a difference to the other. It might be as simple as listening and taking an interest in what your partner has to say. It could be to hold back on criticisms and negative comments that can become habitual and chip away at your spouse’s confidence.
So often it is just small changes that can make a big difference.
Talking to each other and actually doing something positive about your relationship will put you on a better path and make immediate improvements to your marriage. It will also bring about a sense of relief – unbottling stresses and strains that you are carrying around daily.
2.    Believe Change is Possible
If you are successful in making small changes this also sets the scene for bigger goal setting. There are no simple one-step solutions for saving a marriage. Couples need to identify many steps to removing the causes of dissatisfaction and improving the areas of satisfaction in order to rekindle their romance.
There is an old saying that ‘you can’t see the wood for the trees’. Those in a troubled marriage need to first believe it is salvageable before they are motivated to take action.
Setting targets and taking steps to meet them and move on to the next gives a marriage improvement plan a sense of momentum. More than that, it makes both partners see that saving their marriage is an achievable goal.
3.    Move On
Don’t play the blame game. Acknowledge mistakes and then forgive and forget. There’s nothing to gain from ‘winning’ an argument or being ‘right’. It is all irrelevant. You need to see the bigger picture to fix your marriage.
4.    Come Half Way
Successful marriages involve compromise. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Other times you need to find your common ground and learn to meet each other part way.
Fixing marriage is an achievable goal. It’s important to use tried and tested resources to help you understand the strategies you can use to improve your marriage. It’s perfectly possible to save failing marriages, even if only one partner is interested in trying.
If you want to change your marriage for the better, take action today.